Part Duex, Box of Rocks: Promotional Advice

Investigations is a mess.  I was notified the other day of yet another poorly done investigation that the DA all but laughed out of their office for lack of evidence and quality of investigation.  I think I’ve belabored the point of what kind of training and experience is required to be a detective, a successful detective. Today we get a glimpse into the philosophy of the administrator of Investigations and the general sense of what the sheriff finds to be promotable leadership.

The Captain of Investigations… “Cap” as he demands to be called, is a treasure trove of examples of what the sheriff promotes to this level. The sole difference here is that “Cap” continues to be “smart” enough to provide evidence of the mentality the sheriff cherishes in her upper echelons. I really am shocked the sheriff hasn’t required his emails to be approved prior to going out to “send all”. He wouldn’t  be the first person to have that happen, we all remember Cap’n Crunch’s email.

We first met “Cap” when he sent a rather offensive letter re-ranking candidates for promotion on the Sergeant’s List. It was an embarrassing fiasco that internal county resources have recently told me cost the Board of Supervisors a pretty penny at budget time. We really should demand a separate accounting from the county of all the lawsuit settlement payouts Laurie Smith has foisted on the county and taxpayers… paid and pending. It’s well into the tens of millions at this point.

Now “Cap” again puts his foot in his mouth as the new round of hopefuls gets ready to test. Something made our bold captain decide to be helpful and offer this sage advice to the entire office on how to successfully climb Sheriff Laurie Smith’s ladder to success: Be lazy. I didn’t have time for that, you don’t have time for that, just read the study guides. We all know the process is a sham anyways. Well, Cap, great to know you don’t have time to learn how to do your job right. That you don’t expect deputies, sergeants, or apparently anyone to take the time necessary to learn more.  Maybe if you’d taken the time to read more than a study guide you would have known better than to send that last email that got you in so much trouble. I’m going to pre-empt the sheriff lying for you this time and trying to say the email doesn’t exist, it’s posted below.  Maybe it’s time for you to consider early retirement before you really cause some damage.

Sadly this whole thing again lends more credence to all the concerns I’ve been outlining about Investigations and the captain’s poor leadership, organization, and management skills, doesn’t it? He has sergeants submitting literally laughable investigations, Major Crimes watching their daily soaps; he seems to think he doesn’t have time to do things like learn, and maybe track cases, train, or generally do his job right.

So folks, there you have it in a nutshell — the philosophy of training and development in the Sheriff’s administrative ranks, we don’t have time for it.

box of rocks 2_(2)


3 thoughts on “Part Duex, Box of Rocks: Promotional Advice

  1. Well well it would seem the admin has yet again showed their hand. Be less than adequate and excel. I wonder if this philosophy is in the sheriff’s values and direction she spoke about as a reason to cancel a class. I want deputies patrolling my neighborhood who read only the footnotes and maybe just maybe the “Law Enforcement” for dummies series. The sheriff’s office only produces the best and brightest or not.


  2. All promotions are known before the memos are submitted.

    All you really need to do is friend the emperor on Facebook, donate to her future campaign and tell everyone how much you love being part of the empire.

    Read? Really….


    • There’s no ignoring that fact when there are people walking around before the test telling others they already know they’re promoted. The test is just a formality for appearances. It’s not even a poorly kept secret.


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